Now, Revise Like You Mean It
This is the third in a three-part Tips series, and is an example of foundational coaching I offer to individuals and teams who want to write clearer, more effective business communication. They cover the basics (planning, simplifying, and revising), but apply whether you’re drafting your first email to a client or your hundredth strategy memo.
Tip #3: If It Isn’t Serving Your Reader, Eighty-Six It
In Tips #1 and #2, we talked about building a flight plan and keeping it simple. Now comes the part that separates okay writing from writing that actually works: revision.
Effective revision serves you as well as your reader. Over time, it reveals the patterns you naturally fall into—like “writing how you talk,” which often leads to unnecessary wordiness. It serves your reader by respecting their time and attention. Just as a sculptor reveals their masterpiece by chipping away what doesn’t belong, the real value of your writing is often what remains after a careful revision.
Here’s a quick example. Which version would you rather read?
Before:
“We are writing to inform you that, due to recent changes in our organizational structure, we have made the decision to consolidate our customer service operations, which will result in improved response times for all inquiries going forward.”
After:
“We’ve consolidated our customer service operations. You’ll get faster responses.”
Same information. Half the words. Clearer, more confident, more respectful of the reader’s time. That’s what revision can do.*
*Now, the question of “What happens to all the customer service folks affected by the consolidation?” is a fair one–but that’s a whole different communication challenge, and outside the scope of revision. Resist the temptation to answer anticipated questions by adding more information than was originally there. Save those great questions for a supporting tactic, like a FAQ page, a leadership video message, or a letter sent to homes.
How to revise: A three-phase approach
Revision isn’t a checklist you run through once and call it done. It’s iterative and sometimes messy. But if you approach it in phases—big picture first, then sentence-level tightening, then final polish—you’ll catch more problems and waste less time.
Phase 1: Big-picture revision (structure and clarity)
Read it aloud.
If any portion sounds stiff, awkward, or inauthentic when spoken, reword it. If you’re unsure what tone to aim for, try “professional but conversational”—like you’re explaining this to a smart colleague over coffee, not presenting to a board of directors.
Use the “Why?” test.
After each key point, ask yourself “Why does this matter?” and check whether your next sentence answers that question. This helps ensure your ideas build logically instead of jumping around. For example, if you write “Our new software will launch in March,” the next sentence should probably explain why that matters to the reader (“This means you’ll be able to process invoices 40% faster”), not jump to an unrelated detail about training sessions.
Eliminate redundancy.
Did you already say it, but in different words? Cut one version. This is a common side effect of the Harrier approach from Tip #1—circling a point from different angles without adding new information just exhausts your reader.
Format for skimmers.
Almost no one reads every word of a business document unless something has motivated them to slow down. Give skimmers something to grab onto: headings, bullets, short paragraphs, and (judiciously) bolded text.
Phase 2: Sentence-level revision (tightening and simplifying)
Shorten your sentences.
Aim for 20 words or fewer per sentence. Shorter is clearer. If a sentence runs long, look for places to break it in two or cut unnecessary connectors like “in order to” (just say “to”) or “due to the fact that” (just say “because”).
Play “Find the fluff.”
Look for words and phrases that don’t change the meaning if removed. See how lean you can make each sentence.
Common fluff: “really,” “very,” “quite,” “in order to,” “at this point in time,” “for the purpose of.”
Cut unnecessary adjectives and adverbs.
Many adjectives and adverbs don’t add meaningful information. If you can remove one without changing what the reader pictures or understands, cut it. Compare “a completely integrated system” vs. “an integrated system.” What does “completely” add? Probably nothing.
That said, precise adjectives and adverbs can strengthen writing when they add real clarity. “She walked quickly” is weak. “She sprinted” is better. Choose strong verbs over verb + adverb when you can.
Replace jargon with plain language.
Unless you’re certain all your readers will understand industry-specific jargon, replace it. Even if they will understand it, challenge yourself to use plain language anyway. It forces you to think more clearly about what you actually mean.
Turn weak questions into strong statements.
Rhetorical questions can work as transitions or engagement devices, but they’re often a crutch. If you’re using a question just to set up an answer you’re about to give, state the answer directly instead.
Weak: “Why does this matter? Because it saves you time.”
Stronger: “This saves you time.”
Also, look for “I think” or “I believe” statements and see if you can make them more declarative. “I think this approach will work” is weaker than “This approach will work.”
Phase 3: Final polish (proofreading and refinement)
Walk away before you hit Send.
Take a short break—even 10 minutes—before your final review. Fresh eyes catch mistakes faster and spot unclear passages you’d otherwise miss.
Run a readability check.
Microsoft Word and other writing apps can measure your writing against readability scales like Flesch-Kincaid. Aim for a reading level no higher than 8.0, and lower is usually better for business communication. (In Word, look for “Document stats” in the Editor.) If your score is higher than you want, go back and shorten sentences, cut jargon, and remove fluff. Then check again.
If you prefer an AI tool for this kind of review: They’re getting better at it—but be careful about what you’re feeding into the language model. If your organization has AI usage policies, be sure you understand and follow them before doing something even as simple and “innocent” as a readability scan.
Get a second opinion.
Don’t be too precious about your writing. Seeking and learning to process outside feedback is crucial, especially when you’re starting out. If possible, have a colleague or friend review the document for anything you might have missed—unclear logic, buried CTAs, or confusing phrasing.
Your flight plan got you off the ground. Simplicity kept you on course. Revision is what gets you to the destination cleanly, without burning extra fuel or exhausting your reader.
Now go revise something.